Don’t drive in, live in, or really even look at Wyoming if you can help it

Posted: March 9, 2011 by Dan Condie in Various

I apologize to any Wyoming lovers because I’m bringin’ the hate.

A few weeks ago, I was driving a UHAUL truck full of my siblings and my belongings from Colorado to Utah. The fastest, albeit boring-as-Provo-on-Saturday-night, route is through heaven-forsaken Wyoming.

It takes roughly 5 hours to drive across Wyoming on I-80. For the majority of the drive, a 75 mph speed limit is in effect.

I passed a highway patrolman, who was also driving on the freeway, going 78 mph. The second the tip of my car passed his, the red and blues started flashing.

Of course I’m thinking to myself, “This guy can’t be pulling me over. Did I miss a speed decrease sign?”

My question was quickly answered when the officer (obviously I can’t print his name for privacy purposes, so we’ll call him Officer Sheep-Rapist) walked up to the window and stated matter-of-factly “I clocked you going 78 in a 75. I’m giving you a warning.”

I wanted to run him over. Are you kidding me, Wyoming? 78 in a 75 while passing in the fast lane? I almost wanted him to issue me a ticket. I would go out of way driving back to Wyoming just to appeal the ticket and watch that idiot stand in front of the judge and maybe some peers while he repeats, “I clocked him going 78 in a 75.” to see if he can do it with a straight face.

What a horrible, horrible state.

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Comments
  1. Chris says:

    I seriously laughed out loud three different times reading this article. I was wondering when you were going to write about it.

  2. JCurry says:

    HEY! Just a minute. I went to high school in Wyoming and let me tell you the great things about that rectangular state:
    1)

  3. Chris says:

    JCurry…CLASSIC!

  4. Adrienne says:

    I , unfortunately, live in Wyoming and just so you know most of the residents hate the high patrol men, police men, and other form of law enforcement that are here for that exact same reason. My mom once got pulled over for going 1 mile over the speed limit! You see to become a law enforcement officer here you must first major in douchbaggery as well as in egotism before they are even allowed in to the police academy. Then they drive around, going several miles over the speed limit, trying to intimidate people and pulling them over because real crimes that aren’t drug or domestic violence related are very rare here. this is only one of the many problems with living in this state. yeah i’m moving to salt lake in a few months.

  5. Love says:

    I lived in Wyoming for 20 years and if the highway patrol is the only thing you’ve got to complain about than I wonder what other little petty things you have to complain about other things. I understand 3mph over the speed limit isn’t much but what do you expect when there is seriously NOTHING else for them to do. Lol you drove through there you see there is nothing else but deer or antelope crossing the road what else are they supposed to occupy their time with = ) I love Wyoming, but there is still SO many things I could complain about, but they would be a lot bigger issues then old, bored, highway patrol men!

  6. JoJo says:

    Drove through Wyoming to get to Denver this weekend. I wanted to punch myself in the face for something to do other than look at the same dried out hills and grass. I said to my husband, “if someone wants to punish me, send me across Wyoming in a car again.”

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